Super Scared...

I am absolutely terrified to wake up and temp tomorrow. I am so scared my temp is going to go back down. I am so worried that I am going to wake up and is going to plumment again tomorrow...That I'm going to go back to square one...but the EWCM is gone...and the O pains are gone, I'm pretty sure they were O pains anyway...and my temp was up this morning...the highest it has been since I got my BBT. But I'm still terrified...and I think if I don't get my fears down somewhere then I don't think I will be able to sleep, and that in itself will mess up my temps.

Thought #1...what am I going to do if my temp is down?

• see if there is a reason for it to be down
• try not to get too bummed out
• call my dr...there has to be something we can do to get this show on the road. :(
• think about calling the fertility clinic...again
• have a small pity party to myself this morning breifly before DH gets up?

Thought #2...what am I going to do if my temp is up?

• have a small party to myself before DH wakes up, and then share with him later, because he has been taking a lot larger interest in me getting pg than he has before. (not that he wasn't taking part...he has just started asking more questions...trying to get to know my body...see if he can help me in any way that he can.)
• try to decide what I can do to hopefully not have this happen again. (continue walking and losing weight)
• Decide if I am going to take EPRO next cycle...because even though I am unsure if that is why this took so long, it's the only thing I did different this cycle and I have to consider that.

Thought #3...am I really ok it's not going to happen this cycle...or am I going to get a small peice of false hope if my temp does stay up.

This is the big one.

But I think I'm ok...I'm not expecting it if my temp does stay up. There was just way too much stress involved in this cycle...I'm already over the year mark...I'm already over the possibility of having a baby in 2009...I think it will be ok...I am just glad that if it does stay up, it has to stay up just one more day...and then I have my CH.

Wish me luck.